We are dealing with a lot in our household. And it seems we've been dealing with "something" off and on (mostly on) for a while. Sometimes it has been unemployment (husband's and mine), sometimes it has been kids (mostly the general innocuous parenting crap, but lately a bit more as my son is entering puberty), but mostly we feel like we've been dealing with the decline of our parents.
My dad was in poor health, then my stepmom, then she died, then he died, and in the middle of it my mother-in-law has increasing dementia even though she will only be 65 in April. I've said before that it was tough because I felt like diabetes took my dad piece by piece in his final years and that it was a long grieving process (that I still sometimes feel isn't over). My husband told me last night he had no idea how bad that time was for me until now - as he starts his own grieving of the person his mom used to be and trying to accept the person she is now. Some stuff is coming to a head with decisions about her future that are wearing heavy on our hearts.
Last night, I needed to get 30 minutes EZ in on my training plan for the Tour de Cure. But my husband was needing to talk. So we talked while I cut his hair and then I changed clothes to jump on the trainer. But he was still sitting in the garage where I left him when I got back. So I let him talk some more while I cranked out my 30 min. And they felt anything but easy. I'm sure some of it was the gear setting and the fact he torqued the tension up the other day. But some was the emotional toll this is taking on us. I'm so sad for him and it is probably bringing up some of my own grief that I had shoved on the back shelf of my mind.
Didn't get much sleep last night. Read the rest of a book until 11 and then was up to pee at 4 and husband started talking when I got back in bed never letting me get back to sleep. Had a long day of working on a report for a client that wasn't going as well as I had hoped. Husband was on spring break so he covered most of the housework while I was at the office. Then he headed to a meeting and I took the kids to McDs - bailing on dealing with dinner tonight.
Hoping the snow that is predicted for tomorrow (damn groundhog) will hold off long enough for Susan and I to bundle up for a run. I could really use our "friend" time to do some emotional unloading. Sometime during the day I also need to do another 30 min spin. And of course, try to get the draft of the report finished and off to my client plus some other work. Always something. Sorry to be such a downer.
YTD:
Swimming = 5800 yds = 3.3 mi
Biking = 192.3 miles
Running = 59.6
miles
That's got to be tough. Good you can be there for each other. It's struck me more than once lately that our remaining parents are getting older, to the point where before long they'll be OLD. Hard to think about, for sure.
ReplyDeleteHang in there..
ReplyDeleteWhen I was your age that's why all I did was marathons.
Much easier to just put some shoes on and crank out a few miles
Not sure what I would have done in a cold climate... I probably would have started prepping for Biggest Loser... :)
Seeing my own parents health start to decline, it has taken a major toll on me. It sucks to say the least. Hang in there and lean on each other
ReplyDeleteTough time, but it's great how you are supporting each other.
ReplyDeleteHang in there. It's nice that you and your husband have each other for support. Times like those make me even more thankful I'm healthy enough to do endurance sports.
ReplyDelete