Monday, January 22, 2018
The depression persists and wasn't helped by an extremely stressful week after losing my mother-in-law while facing deadlines and then a busy weekend in Kansas City watching daughter play volleyball (though managed to eat cheaper and healthier out of a cooler and snack bag we took than I have in the past - only two dinners out though I had a margarita and a little wine both nights). Came back just in time to scramble to get daughter out the door again for the March for Life trip, but did take advantage of her being gone to catch up with my Society of Women Engineers group Thursday (always a plus for my mental status). Work continues to kick my ass, but I'm slowly chipping away at the pile.
Spent Saturday morning while daughter was on bus back from Washington D.C. cooking away with my Instant Pot and made chipotle lime cauliflower "rice", crack chicken (minus the bacon as I didn't have any), a dozen hard boiled eggs and bbq pulled pork. All turned out relatively well. Hit the gym yesterday when I really just wanted to lay on my butt. Need to sweet talk hubs into setting up the bike trainer. That was on a to do list a couple weeks ago before everything else blew up.
MMNW (Monday Morning Naked Weight): 198.4 - Lowest I've seen this year, but there was some bouncing back up during the funeral week. Deep breath...didn't get fat overnight...not gonna get thin overnight.
Thursday, January 4, 2018
- Jan 1, 2011: Tired of being fat and unhappy. Woke up weighing most in my life = 213.0 lbs.
- July 2011: First TWO triathlons completed. Ugly. Dead last at one. But done. Down to about 190#. Making progress. Blog started.
- July 2012: Have done some other races and repeat the triathlons from the first year dropping nearly 40 min from my time after also dropping another 30#.
- 2013: More races. More blogging. First attempt and first completion of bike century. Happiest I've been in years. Put back on a little bit of weight, but felt like life was in a really good place. Ended year in the 170's weight wise.
- 2014: Raced some more. Bounced around in the 170's weight wise. Still pretty happy with regular life, but losing my race mojo. Thought I needed a new big hairy ass goal (BHAG). Signed up for a half marathon. Ended up injured (bone bruise verge of stress fracture and arthritis in my feet diagnosis). Gimped around all fall. Stopped blogging.
- 2015: Other things in life happened and I really dug into dropping some unwanted weight. Got down to 150 briefly. Felt sexy and fit, but still wasn't really feeling racing. Hadn't given it up completely though. I did the inaugural Rocheport Roubaix in 20 degree weather early in the year. I did TriZou (with a sucktastic swim as I recall). I did the Show Me Games triathlon after rain delay with hubs doing the duathlon and us both medaling (love those small races). We did one of the last Epic Mud Runs with friends and family. Then end of the year I took a really bad step into my garage tripping over my son's size 12 shoes and down I went. Bad ankle sprain and I was out. Crutches for Christmas. Honestly, this was likely the beginning of the end. Ended the year about 160 as I recall.
- 2016: Depression set in on multiple fronts. Foot and ankle pain persisted. I forced myself to participate with my family in one triathlon in Aug that was the worst swim of my life, an ok bike ride and a slow trudge to the finish line. Work was awful with a big project that caused me to lose sleep on a regular basis. I coped with eating. I ended the year at 180. Vowed I would find the mental energy to fight the fight and get back to where I wanted to be.
- 2017: Couldn't shake the depression. Couldn't find the mental energy with another big project starting in Feb that also made me lose sleep and stress all the time. Ate more to cope with how unhappy and stressed I was. Gutted my way through two fifty mile bike ride events with hubs (he rode more than me both events, but fifty was all I could eek out). Barely ever ran as feet, ankles, knees...everything just hurt. Swam literally ONCE. First year since 2011 I did not do a triathlon. I did the Pie Run at Thanksgiving...mostly walking the 5K...some jogging and was super sore. Started going to a personal trainer the end of the year once a week, but overall...it was a crap year.
- Jan 1, 2018: Woke up and weighed in. Needed to see how big this hill I need to climb really is. Face it. Tell it I am going to kick its ass. 205.6 Almost back where I started, but not quite. Feel pretty awful for letting it get this bad again.
I've done this before. I can do it again. Unfortunately, work is a stressful as ever. Kids schedules are as crazy as ever (though I now have one driving which is a blessing and a curse). I feel like this bad mental space won't ever improve, but my poor eating/drinking habits won't make it better so I'm just going cold turkey. No coke. No alcohol. No eating junk. Time to detox this body. This week I've focused on drinking water. Eating lean protein (chicken and eggs mostly). Some fruit to help feel more full. Tried a few new recipes in my Instant Pot I got for Christmas. Tue night we got our butts kicked by the personal trainer. Last night just did some walking around the perimeter of Wal-Mart as it was cold and we both needed some steps. Not sure what I will get today for exercise. Daughter's activities eating up most of my evening. We'll see. Hopefully I will check in more here and see what I can do to mark some progress.
Happy New Year
Monday, August 4, 2014
Bonus points to anyone who read that post title and thought of a song from the original Muppet movie. Love Me some Fozzie bear and Kermit.
7/24: Ran 3 miles. Last day of tennis lessons for daughter. Cool weather made for a nice outing on Greenway.
7/26: ran 4 miles. To Caseys and back. Hot and muggy and just before getting in car for family vacation. Hiked with family after dinner.
7/27: spent day in canoe and went for hike after dinner - calling it cross training.
7/28: kids got up early to go trout fishing with dad. I did another hike with a couple spots of trail running. Bennett spring state park too pretty for a rest day. "Rested" in truck on way home.
7/29: 3 miles
7/30: 3 miles
7/31: almost blew it off. Left at 10:45 pm. Did best run pace so far. Go figure. 3 miles. Got home in time to register before next price hike. It is done.
8/2: friend Emily just finished c25k and offered to hit katy trail for my 5 miles with me. There was a fair amount of walking for both of us. Ended up with 5.4. Then long day working at benefit fundraiser for friend.
8/3: blew off cross training workout.
8/4: got on bike for cross training makeup - 12 miles. Brutal day of school supply and school clothes shopping. Walked a couple brisk miles in the evening with husband.
8/5: 4 miles with Stacy before work. Way more walking than there should have been.
Getting it done!
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Posted a selfie across from Stacy's house with a bit of a quiz to my Facebook friends:
"Quick quiz: This is the spot on my run this morning where I:
A. Figured out what I forgot last night.
B. Thought "running is stupid"
C. Turned around
D. Almost called Bill to come get me
E. Missed the old days of running with Stacy
F. All of the above"
For those who couldn't guess: the answer is "F". I was supposed to drop off some reports I wrote for the County (her husband is the County Engineer) last night which I remembered this morning as I approached her house. I really should have said "running in very humid weather is stupid". I did turn around. I did consider not running back. I really do miss running late at night with Stacy though she start a new job last spring that has her running around all day long - without me.
The training plan (if I choose to stick with it - still debating the "craziness") - calls for running 4x/week and one cross-training workout a week. I might also do some strength and/or stretching stuff on the rest days. So in 12 weeks, that is 48 runs plus probably 12 bike rides. This was run #2. We'll see if I can keep this up. Tomorrow is my usual day to run longer with Susan. Maybe we can tick off the 4 miles I'm supposed to do Saturday and then I can do another 3 miler then. We'll see!
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
So on a bit of a lark last night, I looked up a novice half marathon training plan from Hal Higdon online. It looked relatively doable. The biggest issue will be running more consistently. That once or twice a week just won't cut it. I need to focus on the fact that not all runs need to be fast (which is good since nothing I ever run could be considered "fast") and that not all runs need to be long (which lately I seem to do ok in getting in one long run, but very few shorter ones - sometimes it is easier to set aside one long chunk of time).
Since the forecast was for "just a hair off the surface of the sun" hot today, I woke up early and did a sunrise run of 3.1 miles at a ridiculously slow 39 minutes (though in my defense, I did the big Wavco hill in the 2nd mile). Getting out of bed before 6 AM is not my idea of a good time, but it fit in my day better and avoided the worst of the heat (though the humidity was already out in full force). Now let's see if I can do it again tomorrow and Thursday and maybe run 4 miles on Saturday before I pull the trigger on paying the big bucks to run a race with 2999 other half crazy folks.
|About one mile in standing on Moreau River bridge - the oranges and pinks that were so |
pretty were not sufficiently captured by the cell phone selfie camera
Sunday, July 20, 2014
I didn't even bother to sign up ahead of time still half hoping I could beg off. But with some more than gentle nudging from husband, I threw my stuff together last night and got to bed at a reasonable hour. Slept in until 6, rolled out of bed and dressed, grabbed my gear and a peanut butter sandwich (plus a banana that never did get eaten) and loaded the family in the truck for the easy 30 min ride to Columbia. God bless local races!
Registration went pretty smooth. I lucked out and the lady didn't even charge me the extra $5 late fee so I did the race for a mere $30 (which helped offset the fact that they raised the entry fee $5 this year - whoopee). The line was pretty short and I still had plenty of time to set up transition, take a few pictures, visit with Tara (gal I met wearing an awesome SUAR tee), and hang out before strolling over to the water.
|Setting up my transition area|
|My tallest fan - and the reason I got moving today! Bless him!|
|All ready to go on the boat ramp carpet|
|Thanks to my daughter for this picture of the first buoy |
(tiny orange dot in the distance that men are heading towards - never mind the big butt in the foreground!)
It was kind of hard to hear the dude say "Go!" so we were all just standing around kind of wondering when we'd start, but finally we all started listening for it. I suggest they use an airhorn next year. I was in the middle as we headed out which was dumb, but I didn't want to be up on the ramp knowing I'd have to tiptoe through the rocks at the end of the ramp (plus the lake weeds). After a few bumps and one good knock to the side of my face, I was solidly at the back and only about 1/2 way to the first buoy (which was more to the left this year). I made the turn to Buoy #2 and was going into the sun. Most of the swim I felt like I just couldn't catch my breath. I would flip to backstroke every so often to breathe it out, but then more than once I would splash water up my nose or in my mouth and cough/choke while the poor folks in canoes would wonder if they should jump in and save me (I told them I was OK - how embarrassing).
My husband said he saw a couple of guys in the first group swim to shore before the first buoy and quit. and I saw another guy that got way off course and actually came out of the water after me even though he looked strong and fit. But overall, I was towards the back of the swimmers - not the last out of the water, but damn close. I finally made it to the 2nd buoy and turned towards the boat ramp. That damn boat ramp never seemed to get closer. I would try to swim a strong front crawl for a bit and then side or back stroke a bit to catch my breath and re-sight only to look and think that ramp was just as far away. I was pretty much hating the swim. But I looked at my watch as I got out and was pleasantly surprised to see that I hadn't done that bad. Garmin says I swam 0.55 mi in 28:07. Map showed I didn't swim very straight on the last leg of the triangle.
|Coming out of the water - not many behind me|
I forgot to hit the button as I came into transition so my bike time includes T2 and my watch screwed up somehow and didn't record my distance though it was the same as last year so about 15 or so miles for about 14.6 mph for 1:01:44. As I headed out on the run, I took my powerade with me from the bike. I had been burned by too little fluids in the past. It was kinda lukewarm, but still tasted ok. The cold water at the aid station was a lot better. I tried to run, but my legs were having none of that. I did way more walking that I should have and not even the fast walking I normally do with my husband. It was a trudge. I tried to run for little bits, but my legs were cramping up (mostly my calves). My knees hurt and it was starting to warm up. I realized about here that I didn't put on sunscreen this morning. Ooops! Such is life. At least I would be done soon.
After the turn around (this year first run lap of lake was done counter clockwise and the 2nd lap was clockwise), I met Mark as I came back and he said he was going to try to pick up his pace and catch me. He looked hot and out of breath so I wasn't sure he could do it, but then again - I was walking an awful lot. He caught me just before mile 2 and we pushed each other to run a little more, but walked and talked some making me think about how much my legs hurt a little less. We got chicked by an older lady (59) and then passed a dude (60) that was walking. I think there might have been one or two others behind us, but it was hard to tell as some folks went out for extra laps after they finished so that they could get in more training.
It was an ugly run, but once again - I finished. Run pace is a bit of a guess because the watch must have lost satellites and never got them back (shows no distance) and I forgot to hit the damn button again. Best I can tell, 13:33 min/mi for about 42 min. When I glanced at the official result sheet, they had 2:14 and some change for the whole event. This adds up about the same as my Garmin data. So looks like I finished about 4 min slower than last year and about 2 min slower than the year before.
|My daughter totally captured how I felt through most of this run - LOL!|
|Bronze Medalist - Even if close to last!|
Also need to get the Luebbert Lunatics signed up for another year at the Epic Mud Run (though I think this year my son is going to bow out and man the cooler and lawn chair at the finish). That is Labor Day weekend. Hard to believe school starts in just another few weeks. Still a little vacation time to be had though. Next weekend we are heading to Bennett Springs State Park to do some fishing, hiking, floating, etc. Should be fun.
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
|Stephens Lake swim area|
|View of the Osage River from the end of my bike ride|
|Katy Trail bridge|
|MKT Trail Run Smiles|
|After run drinks at Flat Branch|
|Big smile before the moonlight ride|
|Just before 2 A.M. roll out|
|Does the ride count without at least one pic like this?|