Fake it 'til you Make It

I've been spending some mental energy trying to find my way back into a training routine and have pretty much come to the conclusion that I just need to use this mantra for now: "Fake it 'til you make it".  In other words, even after slacking around most of the month of September - I don't really feel the mojo coming back.  I'm not really "missing" training.  But my scale has seen a little upward creep (just a couple lbs, but I don't like the trend).  And I think the mental funk is a vicious circle with the lack of training not really helping.

I happen to know that this philosophy has worked for me in other areas of my life in the past.  Throughout college, I had a lot of doubt as to my ability to get through it.  But I always pictured those four years as a torrential rain storm that you just had to duck your head down and charge through.  Fake that those doubts weren't there until I proved to myself that they were unfounded.  And then after our kids were born, let's just say that we had kind of lost that loving feeling.  I tried seeing a counselor that was offered through our employee assistance program in hopes of finding some coping strategies for how overwhelmed I felt most of the time.  He was completely clueless (note to self - don't ask a male counselor with how to cope with being a working mom).  But while I was on the verge of calling it quits, I decided to fake it for a little while and hope that things would get easier as our babies grew - which for the most part turned out to be true.  I'm glad I didn't let a little downswing in the cycle of married life be the end of it.

So for now, I'm going to set a goal to get in 3-4 workouts a week and just pretend to myself that I am enjoying them.  Usually, I am glad I did it (whatever the workout is) once it is over.  And I know from last year that as I see progress in my abilities, that reinforces my positive feelings towards workouts.  And I know that with more excercise, my moods on all fronts should even out a little which will make me a happier person in general.

So the other day I texted my "bike dad" Walter and set up a ride for this morning.  He needed to go pretty early and it was only 50°, but it worked out fine.  I dressed for it and only noticed the cold on my ears and nose.  We did a 23 mile loop around Jefferson City with plenty of hills to "build character" (his words).  I was sucking wind after almost no biking this month.  But I hung in there and "faked it" enough to finish. 

We had stayed up late last night at a 40th birthday party for a couple friends.  Thankfully, I chose not to drink so I wasn't hungover, but a nap was in order.  The weather warmed into the 70s and after napping, my husband and I took a walk for a couple miles around the neighborhood.  Hope that keeps me from being quite so sore tomorrow.  I have a super long day on tap with trying to prep a set of preliminary street plans for presentation to the City Aldermen on a project about an hour from here.  So tomorrow I'll give myself a rest day, but I'll have to see if Stacy wants to run on Tue night to continue my "faking it".  If she can't, I'll just have to do it anyway and pretend I'm enjoying it.